Composer Notes:

I remember when the pandemic began, and I heard about the first funeral that couldn’t happen. That moment was so surreal and left me speechless. I could not imagine coming to the end of my days, unable to say goodbye one last time to everyone. In addition, the pain that a family must feel in isolation must be unbearable. Unable to celebrate someone’s life with family and friends, that would be tough. I was contacted by Larry Studt, in the early summer of 2021, to write a choral piece for his wife (Rachel) who had passed away over the pandemic. They had been together for over 25 years and had raised three children: Claire, Laurel and Nathan. 

While discussing details of this commission, we decided to contact Dr. Andrew Last, Laurel’s current college choir director at Luther College, and ask if he was interested in collaborating on this project. We thought that this could be a special experience, not only for the family, but for Nordic Choir too. After receiving support from Dr. Last, we moved onto the words. The words are a collection of memories and thoughts, created by Larry, that reflect upon Rachel, their time together, and their family. Once the words were created, it was my turn to add music. 

I have been a part of many commissions throughout the years, and each comes with its own challenges, but never have I been challenged like I was for this commission. First challenge, to write a piece of music worthy enough for a family going through a hard time. Second, to capture the value of a human life through music. Third, to write a piece that their daughter would feel comfortable rehearsing and singing. And lastly, to write a piece for Nordic Choir, a choir in which I have highly respected for over a decade. Each note I wrote didn’t feel like enough and each draft I created felt shallow, it seemed like nothing was working. However, there was one concept that kept coming back to me, which is the current musical idea that goes with the words, “I won’t forget.” After months of hitting my head against a creative brick wall, it finally felt as if I busted through my creative block. This composition has depth and feeling which matches the passion of its lyrics. I always show a couple of close friends the final product before I send it away, and never have I seen someone cry from listening to the midi of a composition.

Because the text is poignant and the music emotional, I know that this piece will be tough to perform and program. But we are humans, full of depth and beauty. At some point we will all lose someone that has meant something to us. And what better way to honor the depth and impact of someone’s life, than with the depth of musical expression. Facing one’s feelings can be challenging, but the emotional release always heals the mind, heart, and soul. 

- Zachary J. Moore